Last night I had a nightmare. I haven’t had a real nightmare in five or six years. I endured a fair amount of childhood sexual and racial trauma, so I was plagued by more nightmares. As I got older and gained more control over my circumstances, the nightmares decreased with every passing year. I have been having extremely blissful and exciting dreams for the last two years. I remember about 5 out of 7 dreams per week. Last night I dreamed horrible scenes. It started with two dismembered heads in the living room. I threw a towel over them. Then I went scrambling on the floor and found bloody envelopes full of cash. I then realized one of my family members had also died. I began calling out to the deceased family member and a mocking voice answered me. When I was much younger if I had a disturbing dream I took it at face value. So it remained a nightmare rather than a message. As I came to at 6 in the morning my heart was still racing but I slowly began to think. The words that came out were. “You covered it up.” Covered up what ? I thought in silence still half asleep. Then it all came back to me. I have had two other dreams involving dismembered heads. One when I was four after my first molestation and again when I was eight after my second molestation. Trauma is what was being covered up all three times. It was my inner self’s way of trying to address trauma that had entered my system. But I’m far away from that past. What trauma have I witnessed recently? I couldn’t think of anything I live a pretty tranquil existence. Then I remembered that two days earlier they played a slowed down snippet of the life leaving George Floyd’s eyes. I remember tears forming on my eyes and something went off in my brain that said, “No more!” I hastily turned the video off. I was once again not in control like when I was a small child. I felt helpless and traumatized. What I need to happen moving forward is for the United States to stop visiting the same level of trauma on me as childhood sexual assault. Many African Americans, and many US citizens in general are severely traumatized already. It’s almost as if the people in charge know this and are using this to terrorize us out of our wits. Now that I know the cause, I have an action plan. I will no longer consume American news, period. I’ll hear about it at work or for from friends. I have a white male best friend who has endured more childhood trauma than I have myself. He stopped consuming American media 6 months ago because it was throwing him into prolonged episodes of PTSD. I am going to follow his lead. I hope other African Americans who have no real reason to continue to consume our media will stop. Focus on loving and life. Live everyday as a new one. Live everyday as the eminent spark of the divine that you are. Don’t let a society built on extortion and bloodshed intrude on your spirit. Turn of the systematic mind control and live in the now.